Camera Totin Idiot: Humor

Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Go to Scotland

Here's a little something by one of my favorite comedians...Billy Connolly. Be forewarned, the language is a bit salty...but oh, so funny.

Hi Tom!

Favorite Quotes

You have no idea what God's calling you to. But he needs you. He needs me. He needs all of us.
FATHER MYCHAL JUDGE, NYFD Chaplain, killed in the line of duty on the morning of September 11, 2001

Jefferson, by his words, gave us aspirations. Washington, through his actions, showed us what was possible. Lincoln’s courage turned both into reality.
STEPHEN AMBROSE in To America

It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.
BILBO BAGGINS

If you know you’re going to fail, then fail gloriously.
CATE BLANCHETT

Remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
BUCKAROO BONSAI

The Church is not a country club for Christians; it’s a hospital for sinners.
REV. HARRY BURCHELL JR.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.
CHARLIE CHAPLIN

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
PHYLLIS DILLER

Living in Hollywood is like living in a bowl of granola; what ain’t fruits and nuts is flakes.
GALLAGHER

Sex is a Chinese dinner for two; it ain’t over till you both get your cookies.
GALLAGHER

There are only seven or eight things in the world that are dumber than an ant and I voted for six of them.
GEORGE GOBEL

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes.
GEORGE GOBEL

If women don’t find you handsome they should at least find you handy.
RED GREEN (The New Red Green Show)

The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be... But for all I may become I will close my eyes and leap!
M. C. HERSHEY

Always remember: it ain’t what they call you—it’s what you answer to.
JOHN BOY & BILLY

The only people who are sure how to raise children are those who’ve never had any.
BARBARA JOHNSON

When I die, I want to die peacefully, like my grandfather did, in his sleep…not screaming like the passengers in his car.
BARBARA JOHNSON

Life is an adventure. Hang on to your hat and scream for all you’re worth.
BARBARA JOHNSON

When you leave this earth for a better home someday, the only thing you’ll take is what you gave away.
LOUIS MARSHALL “GRANDPA” JONES

Life is hard, wear a helmet.
MATT LOTT, Scout Camp 1994

You’re only as old as the woman you feel
GROUCHO MARX

We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
WILL ROGERS

If you act crazy all your life, they'll never be able to commit you.
ROSEMARY SAUCIER

Do what you love, the money will follow.
MARSHA SINETAR

When I open my eyes in the morning if I don’t see candles and smell flowers I get up.
RED SKELTON

Don't ask me questions before eight in the morning, particularly silly ones. I'm grumpy then, and I'll probably make fun of you.
UNKNOWN

I believe that it is possible for one man to love one women all his life and be all the better for it.
UNKNOWN

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.
UNKNOWN

I have never fully understood the female capacity to completely avoid a simple answer to a direct question.
UNKNOWN

If the opposite of "pro" is "con", then what's the opposite of "progress"?
UNKNOWN

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
UNKNOWN

No mother ever held her first-born as tenderly as a leather-handed Marine cradles a wounded comrade.
UNKNOWN

Today's mighty Oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
UNKNOWN

You should do three things every day. First, you should laugh. Second you should think, set aside some time and spend it in thought. Third, you should have your emotions moved to tears.
Former N.C. State Basketball coach, JIM VALVANO
(He was dying of cancer when he made this remark.)

History is a bag of tricks we play on the dead.
VOLTAIRE

The first time I saw Animal House I thought it was a documentary.
JOE WEAVER

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
STEVEN WRIGHT

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

A Very Funny Lady

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Go to Scotland

The Camera Totin' Idiot in 1979.

Today's Camera Totin' Idiot

Camera Totin' Idiot is on Flickr

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